I am going to be blunter than I usually would be in a review. I just didn’t like it. I didn’t get it and if I’d known what it was I wouldn’t have signed up to review.

Is Drop Dead Gorgeous a dance show or as it tries to claim “a darkly comic exploration of femininity and appetite”. I wasn’t laughing and what I think it was trying to say, as four young women in matching dresses danced daintily around a table of beauiful fruit, was that women are forced to present themselves in certain way; silent, slim who don’t entertain dark thoughts about food.

They gorge on fruit. Yes, that dangerous tempting fruit. If it had been cake or lots of carbs I would have been more sympathetic but of course these young actresses weren’t enjoying anything actually naughty because that might be career suicide. God forbid you imply obesity or actual weight gain as you chew on an orange or strawberry. 45 minutes of women eating fresh fruit is as pointless and indulgent as it sounds. The production ends with ushers whsipering “the show is now over. Please leave” You can get away with a lack of bow if you are really good (Musik ends with Frances Barber’s character screaming at Madonna) but it is usually seen in plays lacking identity.

I wish Same Same Collective all the best in their aims but don’t invite me to a show again without stating exactly you do and what you help to achieve that doesn’t come across as patronising and pretentious.

Drop Dead Gorgeous was on between 8-15 February https://vaultfestival.com/whats-on/drop-dead-gorgeous/